The Ins and Outs of an Ordinary Life

Friday, July 25, 2008

Public Display of Slowness

Yesterday evening was the bike club's first Time Trials, to coincide with the Tour de France. Nineteen riders showed up at the park. Although it was made perfectly clear that the event was open to ALL riders from A down to D, most of the participants were A and B riders (that's really fast and fast). First, each racer (and I use that term loosely) was timed on 1 lap (the course is a 1.8 mile loop). Based on those times, we were divided into 6 teams of 3 riders. Then we each rode 3 laps and team scores were derived simply by adding the times of the 3 team members. Each rider started individually, and the original plan was to start racers from fastest to slowest. As the slowest rider, that would have meant that I not only would start last, but everyone else would be done and watching me drag my slow self around for 3 laps! So in an uncharacteristic episode of whining, I whined my way from starting last to starting first (it helped that my DH was one of the officials).

I was the slowest rider. And not by a little. But, my team of 3 included Hagen, the fastest rider! There was hope for a team trophy! But alas, even Hagen (with wheels that seemed to fly) could not compensate for my slowness (my wheels seemed to be riding through quicksand!). My slowness brought my team the glory of finishing last.

The yellow jersey goes to Hagen. I have decided that I, too, deserve a jersey, for displaying my ultimate slowness in a public forum. And since there is no official jersey to recognize the slowest rider in the Tour de France, it seems to me that I can design this jersey from scratch, with whatever colors or icons I would like. I'm still working on it. Originally I was thinking pink or purple, but I don't want people to think that only women can earn the jersey. Maybe blue, the color of the sky, for when I dream about speed. Add some squares, for when it seems that my wheels couldn't possibly be round.


leslie said...

Congratulations! You DO deserve a shirt!! I think blue and squares is a wonderful idea!

FYI, there's a site called dailymile (at that I think you might like. If you go there, add me (Leslie G) as a friend, ok?

leslie said...

Sorry to be hogging comments, but you've GOT to check out this link: