Waiting for the bus from Giants Stadium to Arena parking lot, slightly drunk man steps in front of me. Pass Interference. Penalty: He has to move halfway to the back of the line.
Leaving Giants Stadium, 3 lanes merge into 1 to get on the NJ Turnpike. Dirtbag driving Suburban cuts me off. Pass Interference. Penalty: He has to return halfway to the stadium parking lot. Throw in a personal foul for driving that gas guzzling monster, and he has to go all the way back to the stadium parking lot.
Driving home, son #1 changes radio station, son #2 calls pass interference. Penalty: son #1 loses control of the radio for half of remaining time in the car.
Monday morning, son #1 gets to sleep an hour later than son #2 because he doesn't have a first period class and can drive to school. Pass Interference. Penalty: son #1 has to drive son #2 to Cold Stone Creamery. Seems reasonable to me.
Commuting into NYC, man stands in front of me on train platform as train approaches. Pass Interference. Penalty: He has to return halfway to his car in the parking lot and miss the train. Ha!
Coffee break, deli across the street, purchasing refreshments for myself and a colleague. Deli worker ignores me requiring supervisory deli worker to tell him to help me and then gives me only 1 little jelly package for my colleague's pumpernickel bagel. Guess what deli worker, that's PASS INTERFERENCE. Penalty: forfeit half of the grape jelly packages and pumpernickel bagels in the deli.
As you can see, I am a ruthless referee, handing out penalties whenever I feel like it, just like NFL referees. And I don't have to wear a stupid zebra striped shirt either!
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