The Butt Buster

Are you tired of your flabby ass? Or maybe your ass is MIA. Either way, you can have a better bootie. All you need is this new exciting technology-- The Butt Buster.

Before using The Butt Buster, I highly recommend that you put on some appropriate work out clothes and fill up your XL water bottle. You might want to prepare a peanut butter and jelly sandwich because building a better bootie is hard work. You are going to get hungry, so be prepared. Sneakers are usually sufficient, but hiking boots are better. Two pair of socks may make your feet a little warm, but that's better than having butt busting blisters. Are you ready? Good. Now get in your car, drive to a nearby mountain, and walk up to the summit. If you can find a trail that traverses several peaks, that's even better. Spend 3-4 hours walking up and down mountains and your butt will be screaming at you, "Here I am, back here. Remember me now?" As an added benefit, your butt will probably reacquaint you with some other long lost friends-- your quads and your calves.

The Butt Buster Basic edition is inexpensive, but if you want to throw some money on it, you can opt for the Deluxe version with various add-ons: GPS system, heart rate monitor, camelback, camera (to take photos of friends when they fall on their butts), bug repellent clothing, pants with multiple zippers, and a sherpa carrying all the fixin's for a gourmet lunch.

The Butt Buster is easy to use and readily available in many (but not all) locations. It can be used by multiple people simultaneously, which makes it easier to appreciate butt humor ("I'm going to slide down these rocks on my ass, that's why I grew it"). No need to go online, no deposit required, just call up a friend, ask them to join you and start Butt Busting today.