Assassin--The Game

NOTE: This post may seem insensitive to some in the aftermath of the Virgina Tech tragedy. I considered not writing about it, but decided that this is really about what happened to me yesterday, an ordinary person living in an extraordinary world. It has nothing to do with what happened at Virginia Tech or I how I feel about what happened there. If you find it offensive in any way, well, that's how you feel and you are entitled to feel that way.

My kids are playing a game called Assassin that involves just about the entire high school. You pay $5 to join. Everyone is divided into teams of 3. You are given a target team and you have to assassinate the members of that team. Assassination involves shooting them with a water gun. Every week the remaining teams are given new targets, so this involves several weeks of devotion and planning. The last team standing collects a big chunk of money. There are many rules that govern the game. For example, the game is not played during school hours (for obvious reasons).

Yesterday, son #2 went to the Yankee game. When he got off of the train, he saw the truck belonging to one of the kids that he knows is after him. He knew he wouldn’t make it down the stairs to my car without getting assassinated so he locked himself in the bathroom. The 3 assassins recognized me so they knew that he was hiding somewhere and they were determined to wait it out. They soon figured out that he had locked himself in the bathroom. For the next 30 minutes, we conversed via cell phone trying to figure out how he was going to get out of the bathroom without getting assassinated. This involved calling the 3 assassins who are targeting the 3 assassins that are trying to assassinate my son, which was effective in eliminating only 1 of the 3. Are you with me? So he’s now been in the bathroom for close to an hour and I’m getting tired of waiting for him to emerge, so I decided to call the police, to see if I could get them to chase the kids away. So I called and complained to the police that these kids were driving around the parking lot in circles, running up and down the stairs and shooting water guns and being pretty annoying to other passengers (all of it true). The police showed up at around the same time that the station manager unlocked the bathroom door and son #2 was officially assassinated. None of the assassins were in the truck, but the police did stop them and talk to them and I presume tell them to get lost. At this point, their mission was accomplished so they were glad to oblige. They piled into the truck and took off. My son emerged, slightly wet and we followed. When we got out of the train station lot, we saw that the police essentially waited for the boys to get into the truck and they pulled them over as soon as they pulled out onto the main road. Luckily, they hadn’t done anything wrong, like speeding or running stop signs, but the police did give him a ticket for having a tinted windshield.

The more I thought about it, the crappier I felt about it. I certainly never wanted these kids to get in trouble with the police, I just wanted them to get shooed away so I could get my son out of the bathroom (without being assassinated). So yes, I was playing the game too. And I realized that involving the police was an inappropriate way to play the game. I am also concerned that my kids may be the target of a “payback.” I have always tried to impress upon my kids that their behaviors have consequences, and this is certainly an example. But quite frankly, my kids are both too busy laughing their asses off to appreciate the life lesson. But I am still having conversations with my super-ego.