Being Helpless

I spoke to my brother last night. My SIL was cleaning a light fixture, fell off the ladder and broke both bones in both wrists. Both of her arms are casted for 6 weeks. She is totally helpless. She can barely change the channel. I can't even begin to imagine all the activities of daily living that she cannot do without help. Luckily, my nieces are all grown up and she doesn't have small children at home. My brother didn't go to work these last few days, but he does need to get back on Monday. My mom is scheduled to fly up from Florida next Friday, but she may change her flight and come earlier (if she can find a flight) and stay for as long as my SIL needs her (they get along pretty well, so that would not be an issue). Now, my SIL is one of the most organized, efficient, productive, get-things-done people I know. Right now I know she's working through the pain and the humiliation of being so dependent, but in a week or two it will be coping with the loss of control over her environment. I hope she can get through the next 6 weeks without going totally nuts!

So, with a new appreciation for my limbs, I have been using them all, both at the gym and in the kitchen (although I do not usually use my legs in the kitchen other than to walk from kitchen to counter to oven, etc.). I actually feel much better. On Tuesday the PT freed me to start doing some lower body weight lifting, although I am forbidden to do leg extensions ever again. The exercise dude put me on the leg press, and wow, was my butt sore the next day!! But that actually got me psyched because I realized that this strength training is so good for you! So on Thursday I did the whole shabang, stretching, cardio, upper body, lower body, more stretching and all my prescribed knee exercises. I still need to take it easy and ramp it up slowly, and that was hard. I wanted to really go for it, but I refrained. But at least I worked out hard enough to sweat! Today should be a repeat performance. I've also had a couple of pretty clean food days, and that makes all the difference in the world. The defunkification has begun.

Time to Defunk

I had a crappy weekend. In fact, the last few weeks have been crappy. At this point, the only option is for things to get better, to head up out of my funk. Being in PT, and having my cardio very limited has totally killed my motivation to go to the gym. That in turn has totally killed my motivation to eat properly. Add in the following:

1) Snowstorm that keeps you indoors all day Friday and most of Saturday.
2) Son that wants to go to his friend's house wearing his slippers after snowstorm.
3) Lack of telephone service while husband is away and both children are somplace other than home accompanied by lack of cell phone coverage at home, making it necessary to drive to the firehouse parking lot to get cell phone coverage in order to leave messages for various people so they know the phone doesn't work.
4) DH leaving pen in shirt pocket which ends up in washer/dryer and ruins 4 shirts.
5) Starting to make banana muffins and realizing I am missing key ingredient and having to make trip to the supermarket because I don't want to throw out the ingredients that I have already prepared.
6) Feeling sorry for myself and buying Oreos at the supermarket and then eating too many.

The Oreo thing is so uncharacteristic of me! I am not an emotional eater, but this was defintiely a response to feeling lonely and cranky. At least it made me realize that this was a total pity party and that it was time to turn it around. Yesterday was much better. Getting back to work after a 3 day wekend (snow day on Friday) was the best medicine. I do much better when I have structure and a routine. And tomorrow is the first day of spring! A new season, longer daylight hours, new growth and bicycle season! I am heading out of this funk, time to get back on the bus, the only option is up.

This week also marked the beginning of a 3 week Health and Fitness Challenge here at work. It is a fundraiser for the students and I am "team captain" for faculty/staff. I signed up 42 participants ($10 entry fee, winner gets a $25 gift certificate to Sports Authority). It involves everyone identifying healthy habits that they need to practice daily and a weekly fitness goal. Basically you earn points for practicing these habits and achieving your goals. My daily habits are not to eat any white food (white flour, white rice) and to floss my teeth. My weekly goal is to Dab the Wussy once a week. What would be your daily habits and weekly fitness goal?

Quick Trip to Florida

We went down to Florida for the weekend to visit my MIL. She has been diagnosed with lung cancer and we needed a better sense of how she is doing. She has a bad habit of not telling us the whole truth or painting a far rosier picture. My SIL lives about 20 miles away from her, but we still felt that we needed to see for ourselves. DH also talked to her about some financial things, making sure everything is in order and that he knows where to find everything. We were pleasantly surprised to see that she looks good and seems to be getting around. She starts chemotherapy this Thursday. We hope it's not too hard on her. She is 86 years old!

We had a little drama on the plane on the way home. There was a family of 4 sitting in the row in front of us. There were 5 seats in each row, 3 on one side of the aisle and 2 on the other. The mom was sitting with the 2 kids (12 year old boy and 10 year old girl) and the dad was sitting on the other side of the aisle. My younger son was sitting next to the dad. Sitting in front of the 10 year old girl was a man, probably in his 20s. When we got on the plane, he tried to give the girl a little teddy bear. Mom promptly gave it back to him and said "no thank you." During the flight he kept turning around in his seat to stare at her and try to make conversation with her, asking her where she is from, her name. Finally the mom told the dad what was going on, dad got up, started banging on the guy's seat, told him he was going to "fuck him up" if he didn't keep his head and eyes pointed straight ahead. When the potential pedophile responded that he was just trying to be friendly, dad made it very clear that he had no business trying to be friendly with a 10 year old girl. The flight attendants (one of whom was rather large and looked like he could bench press the pedophile with no difficulty) were getting ready to spring into action. Things settled down and a few minutes later I asked the mom if it would help if my son switched seats with the girl so she could sit next to her father and further away from the pervert. The mother was so grateful and thanked me 10 times and the girl was so relieved to get away from the creep. The flight attendants took the pervert up to first class for a litle while and must have explained a few things to him because he walked back to the father (accompanied by the flight attendants) and apologized. He realized that his behavior was inappropriate and while he had no "bad intent," he could see how dad might interpret his actions as less than wholesome. Dad actually thanked him for the apology and shook his hand. Kudos to the dad for protecting his family. There are just too many creeps out there.

Last week in PT the therapist was stretching my IT band and she did something to me that totally messed up my IT band on the other leg. I felt it while she was doing it but nothing outrageous or cause to tell her to STOP. Well, the next day I could barely lift that leg, crossing my legs was out of the question and stairs were quite painful. I could not put on my socks and shoes. It took 4 days of total rest for it to heal. I had to cancel my next PT appointment and the therapist was supposed to call me and of course she didn't. This is my last week of PT and I almost blew it off, but I think I need to tell them I am not real happy.

Ratdog

Any Deadheads out there? Last night I went to a Ratdog concert for the first time. They played at a tiny theatre, about 1500 seats, that is practically around the corner (I go there often to see films). It was really wonderful. I think I enjoyed it more than seeing the Grateful Dead! They definitely played Grateful Dead music ( Terrapin Station is still in my head) but the first set was bluesy with Dylan covers and reggae. His band is great and sitting in the balcony was perfect because you could sit and still see the stage perfectly. The only bad part was I was really revved up and I couldn't fall asleep for a couple of hours, so I got very little sleep. This ain't as easy as it used to be. Being an aging hippie can be tough! I so enjoyed the music, I would happily do it again, and again.

I: Jam > The Golden Road to Unlimited Devotion > All Along the Watchtower > Little Red Rooster > Wang Dang Doodle > Memphis Blues > Bury Me Standing > Sitting in Limbo > Greatest Story Ever Told > Might as Well

II: Me and Bobby McGee > Bombs Away@ > When I Paint My Masterpiece@, Picasso Moon > Lady with a Fan > Terrapin > Stuff > Ship of Fools > St. Stephen > William Tell Bridge > The Eleven

E: At a Siding > Terrapin Flyer

PT or BS

I started physical therapy for my knee. I have to tell you, I am not convinced that these therapists really know what is wrong with my knee. Sometimes my hamstrings are tight and that’s what’s causing my knee to track improperly, the next time my hamstrings aren’t that tight but my quads are weak, or my IT band is tight. I feel like every person with a “knee problem” gets the same therapy program. Last week I was finally allowed 10 minutes on the bike at level 1. I was told to stop if I had any pain. I wanted to scream at her, “I CAN RIDE THE FUCKING BIKE FOR AN HOUR WITH NO PAIN, THE ONLY TIME I HAVE ANY PAIN IS WHEN I RUN AS I HAVE TOLD YOU EVERY TIME I COME HERE.” But I didn’t, I rode the bike for 10 pain-free minutes. Then I went to Dallas on business and I didn’t do any exercising or bike riding for 3 days. All I did was sit around in meetings and airports. I got home on Friday night and on Saturday morning, my knee was bothering me. FROM DOING NOTHING. I went to the gym anyway, did my 10 minutes on the bike, did all my exercises, and it was still bothering me. So I took Sunday off and it feels better today. I am determined to give this PT program the benefit of the doubt and I will continue to do exactly what is prescribed, but right now my feeling is that it isn’t doing anything for my knee and that when all is said and done, I will be in exactly the same place as when I started.

I have been making friends with the UBE at the gym. I find that it is very difficult to get my heart rate up and sustain the activity for any length of time. It’s one or the other. On Saturday I was on it for 20 minutes. My heart rate monitor wasn’t registering but I doubt I got my heart rate much higher than 100. I burned 60 calories! This is so frustrating. Well, at least my shoulders got a workout.

On the homefront, Son #1 got his first acceptance to college, to SUNY Geneseo. It is not one of his top picks, but at least we know he has one in the bank and he is going to college next year.

Time Warp

Yesterday I was coming home on the train and when I stood up to put on my coat, this man starting looking at me kinda funny. "Excuse me, but you look just like somebody I went to elementary school with, did you go to P.S. 76 in the Bronx?" Not only did this man recognize me after 40 years, but he remembered my name. How wild is that. I, on the other hand, didn't even remember him when he told me his name. He said he still has the class pictures and he's going to find them and call me so we can look at them and laugh at how dorky we were.

UBE: The Cardio Frontier

Today I got a copy of the radiology report for the MRI of my right knee and I have been diagnosed with Grade III to IV Chondromalacia Patella involving the medial patellar facet. So I guess it is my knee afterall. Any diagnosis with "malacia" sounds bad. Mal means bad in Spanish, chondro means cartilage and patellar means knee. So this would translate to bad knee cartilage. But the good news is that it is treatable with PT and appropriate attention to strength training and stretching. I have a feeling that a better word is probably "manageable," that this will likely be a chronic problem that will cycle through flare-ups and calm-downs. But I might even have that 10k in my knees, if I'm lucky and I am mindful of not overtraining. I started PT last week, and that seems to be going OK. They have pulled me off of all cardio and lower body strength training for now, and they are starting to add in some very simple exercises and stretches. I tried to hold onto some cardio, I really did. First she said no spinning, so I said ok, no problem I'll use the arc trainer or elliptical. No. Well, then surely I can do some deep water running?? No. Ok, swimming, I can swim, right (You know I was getting desperate if I was begging for swimming)? But once agian the answer was No, because I probably swim so poorly that I use my hamstrings too much instead of my hip flexors and quads. She's got a point there. So tomorrow I am going to meet UBE, the Upper Body Ergometer, kinda a bicycle for your arms. Luckily, my gym has 1.

I must admit that I have used the "No Cardio" order to chill out and do some other things (besides driving 450 miles in big circles on the post-Valentine's Day FUBAR Adventure). I did some cooking, some reading, some extra internet surfing, and I watched American Idol. But I am starting to feel lazy. And not working out makes it easier to eat like crap because I'm just not in the right mindset. I'm looking forward to meeting UBE and doing an upper body workout.

Quality Part II--The Anti-Nutrients

The Slow Down Diet: Eating for Pleasure Energy and Weight Loss by Marc David

The Metabolic Power of Quality Part II

Eating quality food increases nutrient value and signals your brain to stop eating. Increasing quality decreases quantity. Eating good quality food also means decreasing the “anti-nutrients” in your diet: Poor quality fats, sugar, white flour, dairy and meats.

Poor quality fats are foods that contain hydrogenated or partially hydrogenated oils, margarine, and most fried foods. This includes most processed foods, such as crackers, cookies, frozen foods (have you read the ingredients on a loaf of bread lately?). Replace poor quality fat with high quality oils and foods. Use olive oil for cooking and butter for baking. Eat avocados, olives fresh fish, nuts and seeds, nut butters and organic milk, cheese and yogurt. Fat is an essential component of the cell wall of every cell in your body. Cell walls control the movement of biochemicals across their surfaces. If cell walls are bbuilt with poor quality fats, they become more rigid and less able to control chemical traffic. This may be associated with Alzheimer’s disease and dementia.
Poor quality sugar includes high fructose corn syrup, white sugar and all artificial sweeteners. They are everywhere: soft drinks, juice drinks, snack foods, even protein bars. Replace them with organic juices, teas, and water. Use organic jams, fresh fruit and quality sweeteners—raw honey, maple syrup and barley malt. Artificial sweeteners may signal the release of insulin, and without the presence of sugar, signals the body to store fat. Food science states that all sugars are the same from a metabolic perspective, but the distinctions between these different energy sources and how they are metabolized is just beginning to be understood, and they are not all created equal (especially high fructose corn syrup).
Poor quality white flour is another ubiquitous anti-nutrient. These processed carbs cause spikes in insulin levels, followed by a crash and cravings for more sugar and carbs. All diets that reduce carbohydrates have an important tenet at their core: processed/refined carbs are the problem. Don’t eliminate carbohydrates, replace them with high quality grains, fruits and vegetables.
Poor quality dairy means mass-produced hormone-laden milk, cheese and yogurt. Replace with organic products. Evidence is mounting that milk is overrated as a quality food. Lactose intolerance and allergies to milk are rising. Try a week of milk/dairy free eating and see how you feel. You might be surprised. Try rice milk, almond milk and soy cheese as dairy free alternatives (almond milk in your oatmeal is heavenly).
Poor quality meats include processed meats, frozen prepared foods and meat from animals raised on industrial farms. Repalce them with organic/free range/hormone free meats. Eggs, too. Replace some of the meat with vegetarian sources of protein such as tofu. Our overreliance on animal protein is polluting the environment and causing disease.

Make a list of all the reasons why you can’t incorporate quality foods into your life—“not enough time,” “too expensive,” “kids won’t go for it.” Go through the list item by item and decide either:

• it’s a stupid excuse, take it off the list.
• I can find a way to manage this one
• there’s wiggle room here, I can come up with a creative way to mange this some of the time
• I can’t get around this one right now.

You may find ways to increase the quality of your food more of the time if not all the time.

FUBAR

Yes, the last 2 days have been fucked up beyond all recognition, but all is well and I’m glad I have a 3 day weekend. Son #1 is in London with a friend from camp, GirlT, visiting other camp friends in the UK. Getting Son#1 and GirlT on a plane to London was the essence of FUBAR.

GirlT lives in Small town PA, in the northeast corner of the state, but goes to school in Harrisburg, which is to the south and west. Valentine’s Day storm brought snow and mostly ice and Pennsylvania was hit very hard, to the point that several interstates were closed, trucks and cars are still embedded in 6 inches of ice. So GirlT was not able to get from Harrisburg to Smalltown on Thursday, as planned. She was able to get a bus to Scranton on Friday morning, which should have given us enough time to get from Scranton to the airport in Newark. So I agreed to drive to Scranton (about 2 hr drive) to pick up GirlT and drive both of them to Newark airport (another 2+ hrs). On our way out I spied Son#1’s cell phone on the table and said, “don’t forget your phone,” to which he replied, “I don’t need it ‘cause it won’t work over there anyway.” BIG MISTAKE. Parents, never allow your children to leave home without their cell phones.

We got to Scranton at about 4:00 without too much difficulty, but the bus hadn’t arrived yet. After a few telephone conversations, we figured out the bus was nowhere close to Scranton, that the bus driver had gotten lost and driven into at least 1 snow bank, and GirlT wasn’t going to make it (her bus didn’t arrive in Scranton until 9 pm). So Son#1 and I left for Newark Airport. This also was not too bad a drive, except for the part where we followed the signs to the airport (bad idea?) and had to drive through downtown Newark which took way too long. I dropped Son#1 curbside at 7:02 pm for an 8:30 flight. Then I headed north on the NJ Turnpike, on my way home (this is about a 90 minute drive). I needed gas and got off at the Vince Lombardi Service Area, where I had to wait about a half hour to get gas. It is now about 8 pm and I’m hungry so I had dinner there. I won’t even tell you what I ate for dinner, it resembled food, but I’m not sure. I finally got home about 10 pm, having started my journey at 1:30 pm, and when I walked in the door, DH looked at me and said, “he called 15 minutes ago, he got bumped.” I thought he was kidding. What a cruel joke! But obviously it wasn’t a joke. My 18 year old son was in Newark Airport at 10 pm with no flight, no cell phone, and no traveling companion. He said he would call back in about a half hour when he got things figured out. 10:30, 11:00, 11:30, no phone call. Now Son#1 is very responsible, this is very uncharacteristic, why hasn’t he called back. I didn’t want to be on the phone in case he was trying to call, (and did I mention that we do not have cell phone access from home so I couldn’t use cell phone to call the police), so I called my brother and asked him to try to call airline/airport/police. As soon as I hung up with my brother, Son #1 finally called at midnight from a hotel room, apologizing for not calling earlier, but no cell, no quarters, no open stores to get quarters, no airline staff willing or able to allow him to use their phones, has already asked 2 strangers if he could use their cell phones, runs off the shuttle bus so he can be the first person at the desk to get a room, runs to his room so he can finally get to a telephone to call us. When I hung up the telephone, I started crying. I couldn’t fall asleep for a couple of hours, despite being physically and emotionally wiped out. I’m surprised my anti-dinner stayed down.

So now Son #1 is rebooked on the same flight as GirlT, leaving Saturday night at 10 pm. His luggage is (hopefully) somewhere in Newark airport, and the airline has promised but not delivered a $700 voucher for getting bumped. On Saturday morning, I got back in my car, drove back to Newark airport, picked him up and went to visit my brother who lives less than a half hour south. We went out for lunch, sat around, watched a movie, it was actually quite a pleasant afternoon, and I hadn’t seen my brother in quite a while. We then set off for the airport, with directions that did not include driving through downtown Newark, and I dropped him off at 6:03 for a 10:00 pm flight. When I got home, DH looked at me and said, “where can I take you for dinner?” I did call Son#1 a little later, he and GirlT were all set, boarding passes in hand, luggage recovered and rerouted. Son#1 had fought and clawed until he got his voucher, I’m sure he is already thinking about how far $700 can take him! He called this morning from London, having arrived safe and sound, but exhausted.

GSIU Week #6

This was not the best week overall for the GSIU campaign. I worked late couple of days, had a meeting a 3rd day, and got lazy for another day or two. So, I didn't get in the gym time I should have. When presented with a free lunch, I ate too much of the wrong thing. There were a couple of bright spots; the week was not a total disaster.
1) I had an MRI of my knee done on Wednesday and I will call the doctor tomorrow, but I am hopeful that the report will confirm the fact that my knee problem is not in fact a knee problem. I scheduled my first appointment for physical therapy for this Tuesday.
2) Yesterday I totally busted my a$$ at the gym. It was Dab the Wussy and Beyond. I took a body sculpting class that really got into my core and my shoulders. Then I took a spin class and just didn't hold back, until the last five minutes when I was really out of gas!
3) I tried a new food-- tempeh. Tempeh is made by a fermentation process that binds soybeans into a cake form. It has a stronger flavor that tofu and a higher protein content. I made Barbecued Tempeh with Bell Peppers from the Vegetarian Times Cookbook and I loved it! Are you feeling adventursoy? Here is the recipe:

1/2 cup soy sauce
2 Tb rice wine vinegar
4 tsp fresh lemon juice
2 tsp honey
8 ounces tempeh
1 cup sliced onion
2 red or green bell peppers, cut into strips
1/4 cup tomato paste
1-2 Tb molasses
1-2 Tb brown sugar
2 tsp mustard
2 tsp cider vinegar
1 tsp minced garlic
1 tsp chili powder
salt and pepper to taste

1. Combine the soy sauce, vinegar, lemon juice, and honey in a mixing bowl. Put the tempeh in the bowl, covering it with the marinade. Cover and refrigerate several hours or overnight. Turn occasionally. Drain the tempeh, reserve the marinade. Cut the tempeh into small cubes.
2. Spray a large nonstick skillet with cooking spray (I actaully prefer to use a little olive oil) and heat over medium heat. Add onions and bell peppers amd cook, stirring often, until tender, about 5 minutes.
3. Add the marinade, tomato paste, molasses, sugar, mustard, vinegar, garlic, chili powder and 3/4 cup water to the skillet. Bring the mixture to a boil, add the tempeh, reduce the heat to low and cook, uncovered until the mixture begins to thicken, maybe 10 minutes. Mash the tempeh slightly with a fork. Season with salt and pepper. Serves 4.

Per serving: 222 calories, 18G protein, 5G fat, 30G carb, 0 MG chol, 215 Mg Sodium, 7G fiber

Murderous Tomatoes

The Metabolic Power of Quality, Part I
From The Slow Down Diet: Eating for Pleasure Energy and Weight Loss by Marc David

"Disregarding the Earth, its soil and the food web and not thoughtfully sharing with all our fellow eaters around the planet has pathological consequences, not the least of which is recorded in our food as energy and information and fed directly back to us."

Yes, what goes around, comes around.

"Consider, for example, the tomato.. If the soil it grows in is depleted, then the tomato has measurably low mineral content, less natural sugar and more acids, which means it will be tough, tasteless and nutritionally inferior. If it is sprayed with herbicides and pesticides, it will carry instructional messages to your body that are carcinogenic, mutagenic, and neurotoxic. If it is grown on an impersonal farm, the tomato will be lifeless and have no charm. If it is picked by an underpaid migrant worker who has no benefits and few worker's rights, then the tomato is hypocritical and lacks integrity. If it is chopped by a machine along with thousands of other tomatoes, delivered to a fast food joint, and slapped together with a bun and meat from a cow that suffered even worse trauma, then our tomato is now suicidal or even murderous, because it has lost its soul and has no reason to live."

Over the past few years, these ideas and concepts have become integral to my own beliefs about food and health. One of the reasons I devoured this book is because it articulates so many ideas that I practice, or it helped me find ways to practice some of my ideas. But I'm sure many people can't expand their concept of quality food beyond the walls of a food science lab. A tomato that has become murderous because it has lost its soul..... this may sound totally absurd to you, but not to me. I would put this is the category of "conventional wisdom." You know it is true even though it has not been proven in a laboratory. I'm not saying science is bad. I'm just not always willing to wait for science to validate a concept before I accept it as truth.

If you believe in murderous tomatoes, then elevate the quality of your food. Quality means: Real. Fresh. Organic. Homemade. Locally produced. Filled with true flavor, not virtual ones that mask the absence of nutrients and vitality.

If you don't believe in murderous tomatoes, then stayed tuned for Part II on the metabolic power of quality.

GSIU Week #5

The theme of the week was finding the time to do things right. I cleaned out the frig, I cooked some good foods, I brought my lunch to work 4 out of 4 days. But when I was pressed for time, I fell back on some old habits. A bagel with dinner, cold cereal for breakfast.
The most significant accomplishment of the week was a visit to the orthopedist in the continuing saga of my right knee. The good news is that he doesn't think the problem is my knee. He thinks I have really tight hamstrings and that is causing the pain and stiffness when I run. The bad news is that he wants me to have some phsical therapy at a "magical" place where he sends world class ballerinas and dancers and they do not accept my insurance. So I need to talk to him about choosing between magic and $1000. In the meantime I am having an MRI on Wednesday to be sure it is not my knee.

I did Dab the Wussy on the arc trainer. I actually tried to see how high I could push my heart rate. Talk about anaerobic! And the Great Breakfast Experiment continues. I haven't eaten anything really weird for breakfast, but I did avoid cold cereal 6 out of 7 days. I read The Slow Down Diet this week and I have been trying to incorporate some of these principles into my daily life. One of the things he talks about is listening to your gut and being more aware of how you feel after meals. On Saturday I made a vegetable soup with shirataki noodles. These are noodles that are made from tofu and I never ate them before. After eating a bowl of this soup I felt really full-- almost uncomfortable. I didn't go to the gym because of this. So, I won't be eating anymore shiratake noodles.

My "week" begins on Sunday. There is no doubt that I will spend the rest of week #6 trying to recover from the Super Bowl Overconsumption Spectacle. It goes beyond food at the party, although that is the biggest piece. Time to accept the artic blast as nature's way of saying it's okay to shift into a lower gear, and focus on self instead of getting caught up in all the media hype about alot of things that really don't matter. At least until baseball season starts.

Breathe More, Burn More

The Slow Down Diet: Eating for Pleasure Energy and Weight Loss by Marc David

The Metabolic Power of Relaxation

Although stress is a normal part of living, the stress response is designed to function for a few minutes in life-threatening situations (e.g. running away from the saber-toothed tiger). When exposed to chronic stress such as trying to juggle a full-time job, family obligations and keeping a home in order, the prolonged physiologic stress response begins to wear us down. Stress causes a shift in the central nervous system to shut down the digestive system. You can eat the healthiest meal, but if you do it while answering the phone, reading emails and preparing for the big meeting, your digestive system is not prepared to metabolize it optimally. It has been shown that stress hormones block the assimilation of calcium and increase its secretion. Thus, stress has an effect on bone density.

The answer is vitamin T: Time. Relax. Increase the amount of time you spend at a meal. Try to allow yourself at least 30 minutes for lunch and dinner. If you cannot eat at your desk without “unplugging,” then find another place to eat your lunch. Make a conscious effort to become a slow-eater. To help you relax and become a slow-eater, practice conscious breathing. Metabolizing your food requires oxygen and conscious breath will increase your oxygen intake. You need to get your metabolic furnace turned up to burn your food. Before you begin eating, take 2 or 3 deep breaths. This will signal your body and your brain that it is time to shift into a relaxed state and allow your digestive system to come “online.” Breath is a vital part of our diet. Consciously consume oxygen at every meal. When you breathe more, you burn more.

The Slow Down Diet

The Slow Down Diet: Eating for Pleasure Energy and Weight Loss by Marc David

I don’t remember where I heard or read about this book, but I reserved it at my library and I have been ripping through it. There is a good deal of wisdom in this book. Although it is supported by scientific evidence, the strength of the book lies in allowing you to acknowledge these principles and making them part of your daily life. The basic premise is that the pace at which we live our lives has a profound effect on our metabolism. The result is a diminished ability to draw nutrients and produce energy from our food. We are left with little pleasure from our meals, and a physiological reason to eat more and accumulate more fat. The antidote is “slowing down:” become more aware. Open. Centered. Present. Balanced. An alignment of body and mind will cause changes in your nervous, endocrine, and immune systems that will result in the ability to burn calories at an optimal rate. He identifies 8 universal metabolizers: relaxation, quality, awareness, rhythm, pleasure, thought, story and the sacred. I think I will do separate posts on each of these, as I read, reread, and ponder.

If You Build it They Will Come

This is a great article written by Michael Pollan, the author of The Omnivore's Dilemma. Nutritionism and food science has taken a very simple question-- what should you eat-- and cloaked the answer in clouds of confusion and marketing. He begins the article by answering this question, and then goes onto explain why there is so much confusion surrounding the relationship between food and health. So here is the answer:

Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.

He then goes onto describe 4 rapid and far reaching changes in food culture and relationships (from soil to table) that have a profound effect on the western diet and therefore on health.

1. From whole foods to refined-- the rise of white foods (refined flour and white rice); corn becomes corn syrup. These foods deliver glucose much more quickly and overwhelm the body's ability to produce insulin. Result-----> Type II diabetes
2. From complexity to simplicity-- the rise of chemical fertilizers simplify the production of food, but decrease its nutritional quality. Four crops -- wheat, corn, soybeans, and rice -- account for 2/3 of the calories we eat (I find this astonishing).
   
3. From leaves to seeds-- grains are easy to store, and easily and economically transformed into processed foods and animal protein. Replacing vegetables with grains means less nutrients, phytochemicals, fiber. The implications are barely understood.
   
4. From food culture to food science-- science, journalism and marketing have replaced "mom" in determining what we eat.

Pollan does offer some advice on how to escape from these trends and their deleterious effects on health.

1. Eat food. Stay away from anything that your great-grandmother wouldn't recognize as food.
   
2. Avoid food products that come bearing health claims. They are apt to be heavily processed. Bananas and yams may be silent, but that doesn't mean they don't have anything to do with your health.
3. Avoid products with ingredients that are unrecognizable, unpronounceable, more than 5 in number, and/or includes high fructose corn syrup.
4. Get out of the supermarket if you can. Farmer's markets sell food.
   
5. Eat less and pay more. Good quality food costs more, but it is a good investment in your health, and the health of the planet.
   
6. Eat mostly plants, especially leaves. Vegetarians and near vegetarians are healthier than carnivores. Plants are good for you!
7. Eat more like the French, or the Italians, or the Greeks, or the Japanese. Adopt the principles of a food culture, not food science.
8. Cook. Take part in the process of providing sustenance and communion. Escape the culture of cheap fast food.
   
9. Eat like an omnivore. Add diversity to your diet.
   

Sundays is usually a food prep/cooking day. I work late on Mondays, so I usually make sure there is enough food for Sunday dinner, and Monday lunch and dinner. I cleaned out the frig. I was away for 2 days and there were all these mysterious things wrapped in aluminum foil and take out containers in there. Son #1 is a pizza delivery boy. The recycling bin was filled with pizza boxes! Then I cooked-- string beans and chickpeas in peanut sauce, pumpkin-corn muffins, and a roast chicken. There was leftover salad. Sometimes it's hard to get everyone on the same page, but "if you build it, they will come." I sure hope they come, because there's an awful big tub of string beans with chickpeas in peanut sauce!

Why

This morning I listened to a WGBH Morning Stories Podcast called Runner’s High. It is about a couple, both of them runners. The wife became seriously ill with an infection and almost died. It took her a long time to recover and eventually she was able to resume running. She then entered and completed a 7 mile road race. Her husband, of course, also participated. He finished first and when he saw her come across the finish line, he realized that running is not about fitness or competing, it’s about celebrating life and not taking a single day for granted. Then I saw Leslie’s post about Cardio Coach and the description of the couple in their 60’s, with kayaks on the top of the car and bicycles on the back, dancing in their seats because they are so excited about life and their adventures.

This is why I do what I do. So I can get on my bike on a beautiful summer day and feel the wind and take pictures of my friends. So I can travel and explore and eat more really delicious food. So I can run up the hill, because it’s there and because once you get to the top you get to run down the other side. So I won’t be afraid to try something new, especially something that is physically challenging. So I can listen to new music and let it flow inside me and make me move and dance. So I can look at my “personal best” and challenge myself to do better. So I can be a role model for other women my age to stop reading magazines on the freakin hamster wheel treadmill!!!

Then, I was in the weight room and I was walking behind a woman, roughly my age, maybe a little older. Let me tell you, the view was not pretty. She was wearing a velour track suit, sweat suit (not a drop of sweat on it), whatever you want to call it. That was not pretty either. She was in the weight room, with a friend, carrying her pocketbook around, from machine to machine. She was talking a lot and lifting a little.
This is also why I do what I do. This was scary. I do not want to be like her. She won’t be taking any “adventure vacations” anytime soon. I want DH and I to be wearing our hiking boots, bopping to the music, driving somewhere we’ve never been before with the bikes on the back of the car. No kayaks, though. We suck at kayaking. Ooooh, maybe we’ll take kayaking lessons so we can make the kayaks go straight and then we will like it and we can have kayaks on top of the car which we will buy for our 70^th birthdays.

GSIU Week #3

The weekend featured the typical mix-- gym, cooking, laundry and Sunday football. Now watching football games means having a good dose of treats and junk food available. So, yesterday was not the greatest day, but I did get to the gym in the morning. Other than that, I had a good week.

1) I was in the gym 6 out 7 days. Some of those days, my workouts were limited, but something is better than nothing. And, I did initiate the once weekly Dab the Wussy challenge, with good success!

2) The GBE is still in full swing. I tried a smoothie featuring coffe yogurt and frozen bananas. I wasn't crazy about it, but DH liked it. He took it to work and had it for lunch. I had spilt pea soup. I even had a scrambled egg (hardly experimental, but I avoided cold cereal). So far, I like having soup for breakfast.

3) I did a good job planning my own meals, packing my lunch. I'm still feeding the carnivores, but I try to take care of myself first. So far, they haven't really noticed.

Hills Volume 2

My legs are pretty much trashed. On Thursday, my trainer had her turn at turning them to rubber. On Friday I did my interval thing for an hour on the arc trainer. On Saturday morning, I took a spin class for an hour. I could barely walk up the stairs from the locker room carrying my gym bag (which probably weighs at least 10 pounds!).

My first playlist for the arc trainer/elliptical or other dab the wussy cardio device was getting a little boring. So here is Volume 2. Most of the songs are longer, closer to 4 minutes, seems to favor more classic rock. It runs for 1 hour.

Einstein on the Beach	Counting Crows	2003	3:53
And We Danced	The Hooters	1985	3:51
Time of the Season	The Zombies	1967	3:32
Brown Sugar	Rolling Stones	1971	3:53
Jeopardy	Greg Kihn Band	1983	3:49
Hope For Me Yet	Marc Broussard	2004	3:45
Love is a Battlefield	Pat Benatar	1983	4:10
Past Tense	Stefan Couture	2004	4:18
Do Me A Favor	The Subdudes	1996	3:59
Can’t Hardly Wait	The Replacements	1987	3:04
Rock Me	The Doobie Brothers	1975	3:42
Brown Skin Girl	Santana with Bo Bice	2005	4:44
Mary Anne	Marshall Crenshaw	1982	2:58
Can’t Hurry Love	Dixie Chicks	1999	3:08
Gypsy Woman	Bruce Springsteen	1994	3:34
Let it Rain	Eric Clapton	1970	5:02

Dab the Wussy and Beyond

1) My first attempt to Dab the Wussy was fairly successful. I took an endurance spin class which is 75 minutes. I rode hard, and I tried to keep myHR over 70%. The only problem was I started to get some side stitches. Nothing terrible, I was able to ride through it, but I did hold back a little. Still, my average HR was 5 bpm higher than usual. And I think I can push it even harder. I didn't get to the point where my eyes hurt yet.

2) GBF continues. Today I had split pea soup for breakfast. Son #2 was aghast.

3) Movies via Netflix. Last week it was Network. ''I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore'' with William Holden and Faye Dunaway. Great movie, especially when considered against today's TV programming. Yesterday I watched about half of Interview With the Vampire. I didn't bother to watch the second half. Feh. Sent it back this morning.

Do What Sucks at the Body Shop Until Your Eyes Hurt

I was perusing a copy of Bicycling Magazine that DH had brought home. There was a list of 10 Training Fundamentals. The article is also online. Here are my favorites:

Do what sucks. You hate climbing because it's hard for you. You should climb--because it's hard for you.
This is my favorite. For me this is defintiely the hills, but it's also ABS. I avoid doing them because they are hard and quickly turn to pain. So I gotta get tough and do more crunches!

Ride at the edges. Once a week, go so hard your eyes hurt.
Yeah, I have been thinking about this. Too often I hold back to be sure I have enough left in the tank. Then when it's over, I think I could have gone harder. Can you go so hard your eyes hurt in spin class? Gonna find out.

Maintain the human machine. The gym is your body shop.
I do spend a good deal of the time at the gym, but I like the way this one sounds. This is more than just going to the gym, it's about getting the most out of the time I invest in fitness, whether at the gym or outdoors, and about making sure this human machine uses the best fuel.

So Step It Up in 2007-- Once a week, Do What Sucks at the Body Shop Until Your Eyes Hurt. I guess I should have another acronym for this-- DWSATBSUYEH. Now that is pretty hard to remember and even harder to pronounce. So using an angram server, I have decided that "Do What Sucks At the Body Shop Until Your Eyes Hurt" shall be known as "Dab the Wussy. "

Gotta Step it Up Week#2

This is my first GSIU post and I think I had a good week. I concentrated on eating good quality food (reducing the amount of white food and processed carbs) and spreading it out to 4 meals. On days that I'm at work, eating in the late afternoon works well because I'm well fueled when I go to the gym after work. Then I eat a small dinner when I get home after working out. I also started the Great Breakfast Experiment. Today I had a bowl of wheatberries, orzo and cranberries salad which I made yesterday. It is very chewy and yummy and it definitely kept me going during Race Day spin class.

I had a great workout at the gym this morning. I took a spin class, then I did an UBWO, then I did something I haven't done in a long time-- I ran in the pool. When I got started, I was suprised at how much I felt it in my arms and shoulders, probably because I just finished the UBWO. But I settled down and ran 500 yards in about 25 minutes. I know I didn't get my heart rate way up, but it sure felt good. I was at the gym for hours! I had the time today, especially since I have the day off tomorrow. Gee, wish I could do this everyday!

The Great Breakfast Experiment

I was reading some of the articles posted on the Core Performance website, and I came across this one. That's right gardening is NOT exercise. And neither is reading People magazine on the treadmill. Gardening and walking are better than nothing (and certainly better than sitting on the couch watching a football game with one hand in a bag of chips and the other hand caressing a 40 oz. soda), but they won't make you fit. You have to work hard to improve your fitness. It's all about the intensity. If you give a stress test (running on a treadmill as the intensity increases) to a whole bunch of people and predict which ones will live the longest, it's the people that can run the longest and the hardest. So, when I got to the gym last night, wasn't I all smug. I knew I was better than all the other middle aged ladies because I was doing intervals, watching my heart rate hitting 85-90%, huffing and puffing and sweating. They were reading their magazines and watching the evening news and chatting away. Seriously, I am so in the minority! There are very few women my age that take spin classes, and very few that do any sort of cardio with real intensity. I also know that for every woman my age that goes to the gym regularly there are probably 10 that never get any exercise, so at least these ladies are there burning some calories. But sometimes I want to yell at them, "you can do a whole lot better than that!!!" That's how you make friends and influence people at the gym, right? Tell them they are SLUGS!

Now, since the new year I have working very hard on the "calories in" part of the equation, and I am eating much better quality food. I am trying to avoid processed carbs and eat some protein at every meal, but I am struggling with breakfast. I have a little crockpot and I often set it up with a timer to cook a mixed grain hot cereal ( I mix a big batch of the grains using a recipe from Cooking Light. I keep it in the freezer and throw about 1/3 cup of the mix into the crockpot with about 1 cup of water). That has about 8 gm of protein, maybe a little more when I throw in some almonds and occasionally a little bit of milk. When I forget to set up the crockpot, I have a bowl of cold cereal and milk. That has about the same amount of protein, but I want to avoid the processed carbs. I think I should push up the amount of protein too, since I don't eat meat. I am struggling to come up with vegetarian alternatives that have a good amount of protein. I think I have to get out of the breakfast mindset and think about eating lunch at breakfast time. So I have been thinking about having soup and salads with whole grains for breakfast. My kids already think I have some strange eating habits! I also reserved a book on Smoothies through the library, but I don't think I'm really a smoothie kinda girl. Anyway, I will report back on the GBE - Great Breakfast Experiment

Gotta Step it Up

I just stumbled upon Laurie’s blog, and found a bunch of inspiring ideas. She has declared 2007 as the year of “Gotta Step it Up.” She got this idea from Commodore, who wrote if you just had a theme to tie your life together for one year, then make 2007 your Year of Gotta Step It Up. (I am not able to open Commodore’s blog, not sure why). Laurie is planning to write a weekly summary on how she “stepped it up” during the previous week, hoping to show steady progress toward her goals. I think this is a wonderful idea! I will even tag those blog entries as GSIU. She has also promised to interact more with other bloggers by being a NaBloComHo (National Blog Comment Ho) during the month of January. Now, I have never committed to being a Ho, but I think I can do this! So I plan to spread a little “comment love” in the weeks ahead. Thanks Laurie!

D4W Totally Rocks

Yesterday morning I was contemplating what to do on a day when the temperature at 8 in the morning was already over 60. The phone rang, bike shop calling, to tell me that my new bike had arrived, was built and ready to get fitted! Well, that settled the issue. Threw on bike shorts and a long sleeved jersey, grabbed my gear, threw the beloved Trek on the bike rack and headed for the bike shop. It took a while to get the saddle, pedals, and computer moved over to the new bike, but fitting it took almost no time, and we headed out for our first ride. We rode 15 miles on the bike path, which is relatively flat, but it was amazing how I immediately felt comfortable. The Trek is 20 years old, and I don't think they made D4W (designed for women) bikes then. I was lucky to find a frame that was small enough for me! But everything on the Dolce just fits! The handlebars are a little narrower so I can ride with my hands resting on the hoods, the break levers are smaller and easier to get my hands around, and the paint job is beautiful. So there I was on an afternoon in January, temperature about 68 degrees, cruising down the bikepath in shorts and a jersey, not even a jacket, bonding with my new bike. What a gift! Today Dolce and I rode up and down some hills. It was cooler today, but still hovering around 50 degrees. The gearing is definitely different on this bike, but once again, I felt totally one with the bike, feet, knees, back, hands all working together.

When I bought the bike, I was convinced that the warm weather would end as soon as the bike arrived and we would probably have a blizzard. It looks like this week will bring us closer to "seasonable" temps but I am so grateful that I had these 2 days to get to know Dolce, my Sugar Magnolia!

The Hills are Alive...With the Sound of Music

I can’t run right now, because of my right knee, so I have been using the elliptical and arc trainers (on days that I don’t take a spin class). Usually when I get on these machines, I spend 20 minutes at a fairly low intensity, so I sweat a little, burn a few calories, la dee daa. I decided I really need to pick up the pace, get my heart rate up to a respectable level, maybe even do some interval training, if I expect this to stand in for running. So I built myself a playlist and named it “Hills.” It is composed of 3-4 minute songs, 2 moderate to fast paced songs followed by a slow paced one: 3 minutes for taking it easy/recovery, 3 minutes for starting to crank it up, and 3 minutes for a full head of steam, really grinding it out. It worked great. First I played with the arc trainer, trying different inclines and resistance settings until I had 3 different settings I thought would work. Then I strapped on my heart rate monitor, plugged in my beloved light pink iPod Mini and did some “Hills.” With a few minor adjustments, I found my zones. The three song sets took my heart rate from 60-70% to 70-80% and 80-90%. About 45 minutes of that and I was soaked in sweat and feeling very pleased with myself. It’s not the same feeling as running, especially running outdoors, but this type of cardio workout will definitely get me through the winter months (if we ever have a winter—its going to be close to 70 degrees tomorrow!). And calling the orthopedist is on the top of my “To Do list.”

So here is the playlist I built. If you are interested in any (or all) of this music, just let me know. Unless I bought it from iTunes, I will be happy to email you the mp3. Or I can even burn you a CD. I love sharing music.

Do It Right//Jim Stärk//3:17 //2005
When You Were Young //The Killers// 3:40 //2006
Can't Find My Way Home //Steve Winwood //3:16 //1969
New Shoes //Paolo Nutini //3:21 //2006
Pump It Up //Elvis Costello & the Attractions // 3:17 //1978
The Weight //The Band //4:33 //1968
Take Your Mama //Scissor Sisters// 4:34 //2004
Atchafalaya Pipeline //Beausoleil //3:23 //1999
Wishlist //Pearl Jam //3:26 //1998
Baby I Need You're Lovin'// Michael McDonald// 3:19 //2004
Ride My See-Saw// The Moody Blues //3:41//1968
Someday// Nickelback// 3:27 //2003
Everybody Went Low //John Hiatt// 3:20 //2004
Annie Get Your Gun //Squeeze//3:24 //1989
Three More Days //Ray LaMontagne //3:36 //2006
Special //Workshop //2:48 //2004
Hands Open //Snow Patrol //3:15 //2006
Get to Me //Train //4:05 //2003
Please Don't Tell Her //Big Head Todd & the Monsters //4:07 //1997

Non-Resolutions for 2007

I’m borrowing the concept from GeekGirl. Non-resolutions, things I will NOT do in 2007.

1. I will not become a vegan. I have thought about this, but quite frankly, I don’t have the motivation to pursue that lifestyle. Besides, eggs and cheese are among my favorite foods. Being a vegetarian is all I can handle at this point, especially living among the carnivores.

2. I will not start taking yoga classes. Like being vegan, it would probably be good for me, but I can’t do everything at the gym, and I want to focus on strength, cycling, and core.

3. I will not nag my husband. I never have done this, but I think it’s good to remind myself that nagging is bad. He has to do whatever needs to be done because he knows it needs to be done. I will, however, offer gentle reminders and point him in the right direction when he seems to lose his way.

4. I will not let son #1 go to college without cleaning out his bedroom. I think he can throw out the empty shoeboxes and sell the legos on ebay or something.

5. I will not buy a “snack for the ride home” in Grand Central Terminal, before getting on the train. Bad habit. Bad bad habit.

6. This one I am copying straight from GeekGirl: · I will not run any slower. This should be easy. I think if I did get slower I'd actually be moving backwards.

7. I will not do everything myself and then feel resentful that nobody else is doing their share. I will not expect my children to “just do it” -- this is a parental fantasy. Either I will ask for help around the house or the house is a mess. I can live with either of those options, and they are both better options that feeling all the resentment.

8. I will not buy a Nano unless my mini dies and I can’t get the battery replaced without breaking it (I’m working on getting the battery replaced).

9. I will not buy more workout clothes, unless something really needs to be REPLACED and it will fit in the one draw designated for workout clothes.

10. I will not make up stupid excuses for not working out. If I skip a workout, it is because I’m a slug.

I Have a Plan

After thinking about the year past and where I am now, I have put together a "Health and Fitness" plan for 2007. I won't bore you with the details, but it does involve specific objectives that can be measured. I also tried to write my Top Ten Reasons for Making Health and Fitness a Priority. Here they are, in no particular order:

1. More energy
2. Opportunity to listen to more music while working out
3. Riding C on club rides
4. Awesome arms and shoulders and tank tops
   
5. Appreciating the seasons by spending more time outdoors
6. Spending money on workout clothes and gear instead of medical bills
   
7. Better sex
8. Not looking my age
9. I know it's good for me
10. Endorphins-- being in the zone

A Small Miracle

I got a haircut today and for the first time in I don't know how long (but a very long time), the hairstylist actually gave me the haircut I asked for! It came out the way I envisioned it and I like it. Ladies, is this not a miracle?!

Five Pounds

I bought a new bike. Specialized Dolce Comp. Dolce means sweet. I think I will have to name her Sugar Magnolia. She won’t get here for a few weeks, at which point I’m sure we will have a monstrous blizzard. But she is on herway! And she’s so pretty!

I weighed myself, finally got brave enough to get on the scale. 113. I have gained 5 pounds over the last 5 months. I know what some of you are thinking—113 pounds! She can’t be complaining about her weight! And I’m not complaining about my weight or the need to lose weight. Now, I am a tiny person, so it is enough to make my clothes feel tight. But more important, the number is a warning. It has to stop NOW. It means I am not doing what I need to do. I know that if I do what I should be doing, the 5 pounds will come off. And I will feel better, from the inside out. When I’m where I should be, the music sounds better, the days are sunnier, and my feet don’t get cold at night! Oh, and let’s not forget, the sex is better. I also know there will always be bumps in the road, you can’t stay with the program 100% of the time. But the key is consistency, getting it right most of the time. Over the past 7 weeks (the winter preseason) I have made a good start on the road to good habits. I’m still working on a plan for 2007, with realistic goals. The realistic part is the hard part. I know that I want to be healthy and fit, but how do I measure that? How do I balance the concept of fitness with goals such as riding a century? And always, fitting it into the bigger plan, an ordinary life with family, work, and the world out there.

Now, a totally different topic. I watched a few football games this weekend and I observed that the running backs and wide receivers, in general, have the best butts. There aren't too many people who look good in spandex, but those wide receivers got it right!

Rock n Roll Memories

Things seem to be falling into place. Over the weekend, I spent some time at the gym, I spent some time in the kitchen, I watched some football, and I did mountains of laundry. A fairly typical weekend. Yesterday DH, and sons #1 and #2 went to the Giants game. We had 4 tickets for the game, and I could have gone, but it’s really an all day affair. They left the house at 1:00 for a 4:00 game, and they didn’t return until almost 9:00. I got so much done around the house and I was content to watch the game from the comfort of my living room (especially since the Giants lost!).

On Saturday I met a couple of friends in Beacon and we went to see an exhibit at the Howland Arts Center that connected with the rock n roll girl inside me-- The Fillmore, the Avalon and the Grateful Dead. The exhibit was centered on the posters of various shows at the Fillmore that featured many artists including the Grateful Dead. There were many classic posters from San Francisco in the 60’s but also posters and memorabilia from more recent years. There were some really fabulous photos of various artists, including several of Janis Joplin. They really captured her spirit as a blues singer and her “bad girl” image. It was a great way to spend an hour or so, and made me long for some classic rock. That is a craving easily indulged, and it has zero calories. I hit the treadmill listening to the Grateful Dead, the Allman Brothers, the Who, the Doors, Janis Joplin, Jefferson Airplane, Crosby Stills and Nash, the Beatles, Derek and the Dominoes, the Band, and Santana. The miles went down easy, and faded into the past with all my rock n roll memories (well, whatever memories have remained after the fog lifted!).

Overcoming Slothdom

December is a tough month for me. The big annual meeting found me embracing slothdom-- sitting on my butt listening to lectures for hour after hour. Eating whatever magically appeared before me. It's a good thing I am not a drinker. A glass of wine and a martini were the only alcoholic beverages I consumed, despite a multitude of opportunites to get drunk as a skunk on somebody else's dime (or dollar or larger denomination of US currency) . I brought the proper gym apparel but never got to the hotel fitness center. When I returned to NYC, I drove from the airport to a holiday party! There are chocolates and cookies everywhere. The TV pumps out messages to eat! buy! consume! Love somebody by spending huge amounts of money. The pervasiveness of that attitude during the month eats at my core.

It has taken several additional days to get to the gym. There was working late on Monday, car swapping on Tuesday which resulted in my gym bag being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and the need to buy food on Wednesday. So off I went on Thursday morning (my day off) to get beaten up by my trainer. Today the soreness that made putting my gym bag in the car an arduous task serves as a reminder of the price of slothdom.

After the gym and a trip to the library, I gritted my teeth, headed to the mall, and exercised my American Express card. In 2 hours, I managed to purchase gifts for everyone on my list (I must admit, I had a short list) and a new pair of running shoes for myself. There were a few more errands but when I arrived home, I decided it was time to reaquaint myself with the contents of my refrigerator and pantry and the use of some other major appliances. I became a goddess of all things domestic, and engaged in a mother's triathlon-- cooking, laundry, and general tidying up. I made a big pot of chicken soup and then I went on to cook the ............ brussel sprouts! I love them, but just the smell of them cooking will cause the rest of my family to flee from the kitchen (and occasionally from the house). Ah well, their loss, I get to eat a whole skillet of them simmered with apples and onions. You're jealous aren't you?

So, my reward for overcoming slothdom is a extreme soreness in my upper body and a tub of leftover brussel sprouts for lunch. Well, I'm sure there are some cookies and chocolates around here somewhere.

After work, I intend to try my new running shoes with my not quite new orthotics. The weekend will be unseasonably warm, so time outdoors is in the plan. My winter preseason ends next Wednesday. I will get on the scale (which I have been avoiding). I will spend the final 11 days of the year thinking about and planning for 2007.

Time Part II

DH started his own law practice 10 years ago. He had been with a firm for 17 years, had become a partner, but he wasn't happy there. Today he has 1 partner and 3 employees. It has taken a while to get the right mix, but he and his partner are very happy with the way the practicing is running on a daily basis and with its growth and direction. Life is good in their little part of the gigantic attorney universe. To celebrate, he and partner planned a lovely dinner for everyone and their spouses. We went to a restaurant in NYC and since 2 of the employees live in the same suburban town as us, and the third lives between us and NYC, we took a limo. What a blast! The traffic was horrendous getting into the city, but at least we were drinking champagne while complaining about it. DH and I were seated at the head of the table as the firm's parental units. Time was quickly becoming compressed-- had it really been 10+ years since we talked about him leaving a parternship behind to start his own practice? Of course hindsight is 20/20 and it was the right decision. I tried to think about what it was like when we made that decision, what did we see in the future, and I don't think we really thought about what the future would be like if he left. What we did see very clearly was what the future would be like if he didn't leave. There continue to be forks in the road, and so far we have not hit any deadends. I hope the way continues to be well marked into the future.

Time Part I

I have been thinking about time, and all its clichés, but mostly about how time sometimes seems to expand and contract; move in straight lines or in loops that seem to bring you back to somewhere you’ve been before. Several events over the past few weeks have all had me thinking about times past and how they might resonate in the future. Eh, it’s not nearly as profound as it sounds, just the events of an ordinary life.

I went to see an exhibit, Ehon, at the New York Public Library. Ehon is the Japanese tradition of creating picture books. The illustrations are not merely a mirror of the text. Rather the pictures are images that are central to the story and interact with the text to create something bigger. These beautiful works of art were often commissioned or created to celebrate a person’s life. Many of them are anthologies of poetry or chronicle long journeys. Some of the books on display are from the 8^th century!! The tradition continues with more modern interpretations, but it was often difficult to tell when a book was published. The exhibit was thematic and not chronological, which enhanced the feeling of time being compressed.

Shortening the time continuum, I was at a big meeting in Denver and had dinner with my cousin and his wife. Cousin is 5 years older than me, and when we were kids, it was a big difference. His family moved to Ohio when I was nine, and until a family wedding last month, I don’t think I have seen him for at least 30 years. I am so glad I called him and we were able to spend that time together, because we hit a groove right away. In a way it was like having dinner with 2 strangers but we started with common ground, family and growing up and then the roads we’ve each taken. The 5 years age difference vanished, and time seemed to be running in concentric circles, or looping back on itself. I don’t know when we will see each other again, but I was grateful for this opportunity to reconnect.

Then there was the John Fogerty concert. Seeing old rock and rollers perform can be sad. Some of them look so……. OLD. And some can’t sing very well. Well, time seems to have stood still for John Fogerty. He looks like a much younger man. He showed pictures of his young daughter on the video screen. He sounds great and has more energy onstage than any performer (its not an act like Mick Jagger). The whole experience brought back my memories as a “Rock and Roll Girl.” It was long ago, time was expanding, and all these memories connected to my rock and roll roots rushed in. Dorm rooms, posters, friends, summers as distinct entities, boyfriends, concerts, life seemed so simple as a rock and roll girl, as Sugar Magnolia. Sigh.